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"time to do my back to school shopping" rang through my brain. It wasn't my thought! It was hers!
"Who are you?" I said.
"i am *you* now" she replied. "or should i say, you are me?"
"What are you doing?"
"i'm going to make a few changes around here" she said. That scared me.
I felt myself stand up, and start to walk to the south end of the mall. And it wasn't my walk either. I could feel my hips swing as I moved, my feet walking in tight steps, almost as if I was walking a line. And my posture felt strange. I struggled, but it was no use. I had absolutely no control over myself. It was as if I was watching a movie; I saw everything, but could not affect it. Or a passenger in a car, watching the car turn, but not able to step on the brake myself.
She reached the end of the mall, and I was horrified to find myself walking into a lingerie store.
"Hello, I'd like to be fitted for a bra please" I said to the pretty sales girl.
"Excuse me sir?" she said, stunned.
"You heard me. I'd like to be fitted please. I need to buy a bra."
"All right, come with me" she said.
I was dying inside! I was so embarrassed, so ashamed! How could I, a man, ever go into a lingerie store, and ask to get fitted for a bra. But *she* just made me do it. She had acted as if it was a normal every day occurrence.
"Please stop this! You're embarrassing me!" I thought.
"first of all, you are not you anymore. you're me. and i am not embarrassed in the least. secondly, quit your whining! there is nothing you can do or say that will change what i am going to do."
"And what is that?"
"i already told you. i'm going to make a few changes around here."
"Sir?" said the salesgirl.
"Oh sorry, I'm ready" I heard myself say. I took off my shirt, and she measured my chest.
"You don't have much of...a cup size" she said, somewhat embarrassed. "We don't carry AAA here, so you might want to look online."
"No, that's not a problem. I'll take something in a C cup" I said. "I'll fill out soon, so I want some room to grow into."
"Come with me. Your size is on this display rack here" said the girl. I started to look through the bras, trying to select one.
"Fill out? What, are you crazy?" I said. "I'm a man. Men don't grow breasts."
"you will" she said, as she made me take a couple off the rack.
"Where is the fitting room?" I said.
"Over there sir" she replied.
"Thank you!" I said cheerfully, and started my new walk over to the little room. I took off my shirt, and hung it on the hook.
"what an ugly *male* chest. as soon as i get home, all that awful hair has to go!"
"Please stop!" I thought.
She ignored me, and proceeded to put on the bra after adjusting the straps to take my large shoulder size into account. It fit perfectly, except that the cups were empty. I pulled the tag off of the bra I was wearing, put my shirt back on, and went out into the store.
She made me pick out panties, silk stockings, a slip, and a nightie. I went to the front, to pay for it all.
"I liked the red bra so much, I'm wearing it home" I said. "Here's the tag."
"Thank you" said the salesgirl, scanning the barcode into the register.
I strutted out of the store, holding a bag of lingerie, and wearing a bra! I thought I was going to die. And I almost wished that I had. What if someone saw me? With my light colored shirt, you could clearly see underneath that I was wearing a bra!
I walked three stores over, and stopped to look into the window of a shoe store.
"Those are cute!" I said out loud, as my eyes focused on a pair of colorful sandals. I found myself walking inside, and looking around. I (or should I say she!) picked out three pairs; the sandals, a pair of black flats, and a pair of heels. A saleswoman came over.
"Are those for your girlfriend?" she said. "You have good taste."
"No, they're for me. I think I'm a size 12, but you had better measure me to be sure" I said.
She gave me a strange look, but went ahead and measured me. I thought it was strange that I had said 'size 12', because I was a size 10. But when she measured me, it said 12.
"women's shoe sizes are different from men's, stupid" she thought, chastising me. How was I supposed to know? I was just a guy. I didn't shop for women's shoes! And definitely not for me!
A few minutes later, she emerged with four boxes of shoes. I tried them on, and walked around the store in them.
"I brought two pair of the Jimmy Choos for you, because they tend to run narrow in this style."
"Thank you!" I said in a tone of voice that was almost 'perky'. I could tell that the timber of my voice was changing just a bit.
I bought all three pair, along with a purse that the woman inside of me insisted was 'cute'. All I knew is that it was small. And you can imagine how embarrassed I was with what she did next: after I paid for the shoes and the purse, I put my wallet inside the purse, instead of in my pants pocket. Then I slung the purse over my shoulder, and headed back out to the mall!
When I headed out the door, I was relieved. We were going home. But I was wrong.
"we're not going home silly! we're just dropping these off at the car, so we can get more! i don't want to carry around all these bags."
"I'm not telling you where I parked" I thought. She just laughed.
"silly boy. i am in your mind now. i know *everything* that you know. there is not one thought in your mind that i cannot access, not one memory that you can block from me."
Sure enough, she knew exactly where the car was. She opened the trunk, and put in the shopping bags. I pulled out the shoe box with the sandals, then opened the car door, and sat down. I took off my sneakers and tossed them into the back seat. Only after I had the sandals on did I, put the keys into the purse, and head back into the mall for round 2.
I was being stared at by everyone. A man, wearing women's sandals, with a purse over his shoulder. And if you looked closely, the outline of a bra clearly visible under his shirt. I could see people turning to each other and whispering. I was dying inside, but she seemed to love it.
The next stop of this terrible trip, was a clothes store where I bought skirts, blouses, tank tops, short shorts, and other frilly feminine things I dreaded wearing. I had a whole trunk full of women's clothes and shoes now, as well as accessories.
The final stop on the shopping spree was a 'knick-knac' store, where she made me purchase a whole slew of things. Teddy bears. Dolls in frilly dresses. Scented candles. Dried flowers. Poetry books. Lacy pillow shams. All sorts of junk that I would never have brought into my house. But here I was with two shopping bags full of it.
Next, I went home. I hated how she drove, speeding up, then slamming on the breaks. I was terrified of her driving too, but there was nothing I could do about it. She was completely in control of my body, and I could only watch and fear.
At the corner by my house, she stopped at the drug store, and bought a pile of feminine care products, makeup, and more. I was aghast, because they knew me there! Everyone gave me strange looks. I could have died from embarrassment.
Once I arrived at my house, I unloaded all of the shopping bags. She then made me sit down at my computer desk, and log on. I tried not to let her see my password, but she had full access to all of my thoughts, and there was nothing I could do to hide it from her. I was weak and naked before her.
She went to an online clothing store, and bought a whole load of clothes. Then VictoriasSecret.com for more bras and panties. Then an online shoe store. And cosmetics. And books. And more! Then she went to an online store to order a wig.
"do you want to be a blonde, or a redhead?" she said to me.
"Neither! I want to be me!" I replied.
"ok, blonde it is!" she said.
"No!"
"oh quit your whining" she said.
"Why didn't you just do all the shopping from here? Why did you have to embarrass me by doing all that shopping in public?"
"well, first of all, it takes 3 to 7 days for delivery. i didn't want to go around dressed like a *man* for all that time. i wanted to get a head start. and secondly, what *you* want doesn't matter anymore, does it? no. only what *i* wants matters. you had better get used to it."
As she said this, she went to another web site and ordered two tubes of 'breast cream' which was guaranteed to add 2 inches and one cup size to any chest. I was beyond upset.
Next, she went to the kitchen cabinet, and pulled out a box of trash bags. I watched helplessly as I walked into my bedroom, and opened the closet. She made me take all of my clothes off the hangers, and put the clothes into trash bags.
"this would make a good night shirt" she said, saving one of my t-shirts. Other than that, every piece of clothes in the closet went into the trash bags.
"Why are you throwing it all out?" I said.
"i'm not throwing it out, i'm giving it to the poor."
She then emptied my dresser drawers as well. There were 10 bags full of my clothes and shoes, which I then carried into the living room. Now I took the bags and bags from the shopping excursion, and brought them into my bedroom. Item by item, I carefully removed the tags, and put the items into the proper place. Instead of my boxers, I now had silky panties. By drawer for undershirts was now full of bras. My sock drawer had pantyhose. And my closet was full of skirts and blouses.
It dawned on me that I had no male clothes left! I would be wearing women's clothes, because there was no choice but to do so. She had completely feminized my wardrobe.
She started to throw out things I had around the house, and replace them with the knick-knacs she had made me purchase. In the bedroom, she really upset me. She took my baseballs, and threw them in the trash.
"Hey, that's a ball I caught at the Cub's game! Its valuable."
"not to a girl" she said, tossing it into the bag.
Next, she took my signed Blackhawks poster, crumpled it up, and tossed it.
"That's worth money!" I said. "And it has sentimental value!"
"you men are so obsessed with sports" she said. "but you're not a man anymore, remember? you're me now."
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