She threw out my collection of sports books! She threw out my baseball cards! She threw out my trophies from little league! And my hockey trophies. She replaced them with a little vase with dried flowers, a wooden sign with a smiling picture of the sun, and a cutesy saying about friends. And a doll in a pink and white dress.

It made me cringe. I actually felt something in my crotch, like I had been kicked there or something. She wasn't challenging my manhood; she was stripping it away! I felt so threatened, and I was just bursting with anger. But the worst thing was how there was nothing I could do about it.

As she put the lacy shams on my pillows, and placed a tray on the dresser, then arranged bottles perfume and tubes of cream on it, I would have started crying if I had any control over my body.

But if I thought that I had reached bottom, it wasn't even close yet. She was just getting going. Because the next thing I did was to strip naked. The last thing I took off was my bra.

"i can't wait until these are full" she said, cupping her hands over the bra, as if I had big breasts.

I strutted into the bathroom, and turned the shower on. I took a long hard shower, then picked up the pink razor I had bought at the drug store. I started at my ankles, and shaved my legs. Then my chest. Then my arms. Then my underarms. I looked at all the hair down in the drain. I had no body hair now.

I got out of the shower, dried off, and applied a scented cream all over my body. Then I wrapped a towel around myself, and went to my bedroom. I sat down, and used a mirror I had bought at the drug store, and started to pluck my eyebrows. I hated what it did to my face! I hated everything that was happening to me.

But the more I seethed with hate, the more she seemed to love it. She went to the dresser, and pulled out a pair of silky panties. I put them on, followed by pantyhose. After the bra was back on, I stuffed it full of tissues. Then I walked over to my computer.

I felt so strange now, with smooth skin, and with a bra stuffed full. The cups jutted out in front of me, pointing ahead. It felt so alien to me, but also so threatening. It was a visible sign of femininity. I loved the look of big breasts on a woman. Now I felt like *I* had them. And I was completely overwhelmed with the feelings.

She went to a web site where they sold fake breasts for women who had theirs removed in surgery. She ordered a pair of the latest high-tech ones, with realistic looking nipples.

"you won't need these for too long" she said. "soon, you'll have real ones."

Next, she went to a medical supply web site. She expertly navigated around, and in just minutes, she had ordered a six month supply of birth control pills, and estrogen pills.

"i hate having all this testosterone floating around" she said. "you'll love it when you start taking the estrogen pills, and the hormones start to alter your body."

"Why are you doing this?" I said weakly.

"so that i can turn you into a girl" she said.

I put on a blouse and a skirt, then the Jimmy Choo shoes. I put on makeup, and did my nails. I loaded all of the male clothes into my car, and drove to a homeless shelter, where I dropped them all off. Then I went home, and took out all the trash to the curb. I looked at the house, and put my hands on my hips. I sensed a feeling of satisfaction from all the hard work.

You can't imagine how terrifying it was for *her* to be feeling something, and for *me* to feel it too. I was feeling her feelings! With all of the terrible things she had done to me all day, this might have been the worst yet. How could I feel satisfied that I had just changed my life forever by making sure that I would only dress as a woman from now on, and had started to redecorate my house in a feminine style.

I was almost resigned to failure as she continued to lay out the other knick-knacs around the house, tossing out valued treasures I had collected over the years. She threw out my copies of Sports Illustrated and Playboy, putting out copies of Glamour, Cosmo, and Play*girl* instead.

I felt tired, and she must have too, because I sat down. I picked up the Playgirl magazine, crossed my legs, and started to read. I tried to avert my eyes, but she controlled them, and I was forced to stare at the pictures of naked men.

"he's cute, isn't he?" she said.

"No!" I replied.

"yes he is! just look at him. he's big down there."

"Stop!" I said.

"you are just so annoying. you need to learn to just relax and enjoy" she said.

"I'll never enjoy this! Stop it! Get out of my mind!"

"i warned you" she said in a harsher tone of voice then I had heard her use yet. "you are bothering me when i'm trying to relax."

"And you're bothering me!" I said defensively.

Something about her tone of voice changed now.

"he's cute, isn't he?" she said. Her voice had *such* a tone of authority. It was such a powerful thought, that it seemed to echo in my head.

"He's cute, isn't he?" I thought.

I recoiled in horror, in my mind. She had made me think one of her thoughts! The realization that she was powerful enough to do that sent shock waves throughout my system. She wasn't just controlling my body, she could actually bend my will to hers, and control my thoughts.

At that moment, I looked at the picture, and I really did think that he was cute! I looked between his legs eagerly now. And I felt a slight twinge between my own legs. I was excited about seeing the picture. I wanted to feel him, penetrating inside me. In my pussy. I wanted to be on my back, with my legs in the air, with him on top of me. My desires had become hers. Part of me was gone, replaced by a part of her.

"its not so bad" she said. "in time, you'll come to think the way i do about *everything*."

I really did want to die, as I put on my new nightie and crawled into bed.

* * *

It didn't really surprise me that at night, I dreamed her dreams. Instead of my normal dreams where I did things like play sports, or fly through the air, I dreamed of laying in a meadow, reading poetry, with birds flying around, and pretty flowers. I dreamed I had a fully female body. I was a real woman in the dream. And when I woke up, it was one of those dreams where you could clearly remember it, including how you felt.

The bottom line was: I was dreaming *her* dreams. I was stuck in a living nightmare.

I got up, showered, and shaved (my face).

"i'll have to go to a dermatologist to get laser hair removal treatments. i would hate to have to do this every day. keeping my legs free from hair is bad enough!" she said.

Next, I got dressed up in a skirt and tank top. I stuffed my bra full of tissues again. Then it was makeup time. And she redid my hair, making it look as feminine as she could manage. I dreaded having the wig arrive in the mail.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked a lot different. Not quite pretty, not quite beautiful, but not manly anymore. I was starting to really look like a woman. If someone who didn't know me saw me for the first time, they might think I was an ugly chick. And for those who did know me, they might not recognize me at first glance now. They might think they were seeing my sister. But it was me.

I went out shopping again, buying more things to redecorate the house. And I went to the local greenhouse to buy plants for the yard. I worked hard all day redecorating. But with each 'improvement' to my house, she was replacing something of mine with something feminine. It was as if she was erasing me little by little, and replacing me with someone else. Her.

That afternoon, I was tired, so I took a break to watch the latest Hollywood gossip on E!. The doorbell rang, and I answered it. It was the FedEx man, dropping off a couple of packages. I signed for them, and took them into the living room, where I opened them. She was very eager to get the boxes opened.

The first one contained my fake breasts. Holding them in my hands, they seemed almost real. I almost ran to the bedroom, so eager was she to put them in. The tissues were thrown into the garbage can. I wouldn't be needing them anymore. She placed the fake breasts into the cups of my bra, and I looked in the mirror.

Wow! They looked so real! It was as if I really had breasts! I could not believe it. How could this be true? I had to remind myself that they were only silicon gel falsies. But to see myself with breasts was a shock. And I realized that if she followed through with her plan, one day I would have them, for real.

I went back into the other room, and felt them bounce a little and jiggle as I moved. They didn't compress like the tissues did, so my bra cups were completely full now, and even stretching a bit to hold them in. And they weighed a realistic amount, which combined with the stretching, caused the straps to dig into my shoulder a bit. It was quite discomforting to feel the pull of breasts in a bra on my shoulder!

The other box contained three bottles of pills, and three discs dispensers for pills as well. My female hormones had arrived.

"oh, thank goodness. i can't wait to feel estrogen in my veins again" she said. I took three of the white oval pills, then three of the birth control pills at once.

"when a woman gets pregnant, her body starts to change in preparation for the baby. her boobs swell up, as they prepare to make milk for the baby. her brain chemistry changes too. all due to the hormones, which are in these pills. and now, they're entering your blood stream. along with the female sex hormone estrogen. it is what makes your boobs grow, gives you curves, softens your skin, and many other effects. like your brain chemistry. can't you just feel it sweeping through you now? your cells are so thirsty for it, and want to drink it all in, so they can start to express their female functions, locked in your dna. yes, your cells female genetic functions are being turned on now. your physical changes have begun."

By now, I was pretty much resigned to my fate. I knew there was nothing I could do, and the introduction of female hormones to my body was just one more little loss of my inner self. One more thing that defined me, which she was altering. Again, if I could have cried, I would have.

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