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It was just four months later, that JoAnne found herself pregnant again. Her second baby was also a girl. Tom was not quite as enthusiastic about helping out this time with the new baby, who was named Lynne.
Sure enough, like clockwork, in a few months JoAnne found herself going through another pregnancy. She was depressed, since she had never quite lost the weight from her first pregnancy, and now her hormones were making her store up fat, as well as making her feel hungry all the time.
She had wanted to take a break, but Tom refused to use a condom, and talked her out of going on the pill "in case we ever want to have another baby". She loved her children with all her heart, but she needed a break. She wanted to enjoy what she had already, but with a constant stream of newborns, just when one was settling down, the next one would arrive.
As she went through a long painful labor with her third baby, she swore that she wouldn't go through this again. But when they put her new baby into her arms, her heart melted all over again, as it had the first two times. She named her daughter Marie, after her grandmother.
* * *
JoAnne really needed a rest now, but almost right away Tom started to pressure her to have sex with him.
"I'm not going to do it with you unless one of us uses birth control" she said. "I love our children, but three of them is enough. We need a break."
They argued, she ended up sleeping on the couch that night. Over the next few weeks, the debate raged on. She told him to go get a vasectomy if he didn't like wearing comdoms. Or she would go get on the pill. But he refused.
One night, she gave in to her desires, and made love with him. They started at it regularly again, and before she knew it, she was pregnant again.
This led to a huge argument, and she ended up cutting him off completely. She was bearing the burden of the workload for the three children already, and now there would be a fourth.
But that wasn't the worst. Instead, it was what JoAnne found out about Tom one evening.
The teenage girl next door came over to baby-sit, so that Tom and JoAnne could go out to see a movie. When they got to the lobby of the theater, JoAnne had to go use the rest room. She told Tom to go get her some popcorn, and she'd be out in a few minutes.
But as she walked in the door, she realized that she had left her purse in the car. How stupid of her! She turned around to ask Tom for the car keys (she knew better than to ask him to get it for her...he would just whine and complain about her needed a silly purse just to go into the rest room).
She saw Tom, and he had a girl in his arms! She looked to be barely over 18 (if that), and they were kissing. Not a peck on the cheek that you give a cousin, but a tongue in the mouth, like you give a lover.
She walked briskly over to them, and said "Ahem!"
Tom turned pale white.
"What are you....this isn't what it looks like!"
From his tone of voice, she knew he was lying.
"Who is this?" said the girl.
"I'm his wife!" raged JoAnne.
"Wife? You told me you were single!" yelled the girl, who slapped him across his face.
"No, please..." said Tom, but it was too late. There were two angry women ready to unleash their rage on him.
After much screaming and yelling (and face slapping), it turned out that Tom had been seeing this young girl on the side for over a year now. They were lovers, and he had kept promising her that he would be with her all the time, one day soon.
The girl felt ashamed and used. She hadn't wanted to see a married man. He had lied to her! Her relationship was just one big fat lie! She hated him for what he had done, and hated herself for having hurt his wife like that. She was in tears.
JoAnne felt like the ground beneath her feet had crumbled and melted away. Tom had been having an affair for over a year! Even with a pregnant wife and three daughters, he had cheated on her! She hated him for what he did, and felt so ashamed and alone. She was completely crushed. She hadn't seen it coming at all.
* * *
Two days later, Tom found himself in a small apartment, with just a box of his clothes. JoAnne had a restraining order from a judge, which forbade him to go within 1000 feet of her, call her, or to visit the house. He would loose everything in divorce court. He made plans to move out of town, and begin his life all over again. He never wanted to see JoAnne again, for as long as he lived.
* * *
Pregnant women tend to have large emotional swings, because of their raging hormones. They often suffer from periods of depression as well. JoAnne knew she would never get over what Tom had done to her, and being pregnant at the time didn't help matters any. She had considered terminating her pregnancy, but one look at her children was all it took to wipe out that thought from her mind. It made her feel guilty that she had even thought of harming her new baby.
So she carried on with her pregnancy. She got to keep the house in the divorce settlement, along with all their savings. Tom had to pay child support, so she had enough money to get by.
This pregnancy was harder on her than the others, and she ached all over. Sore back, sore feet, not to mention that she cried almost every day.
She hated him so much! She hated him because he was a man. Men were evil. She would never love another man, as long as she lived. She despised them. They were the cause of her predicament. Men were a curse upon the world, and she hated them with all her soul.
* * *
JoAnne was in the delivery room, and went through an intense labor. This baby was the largest one she had delivered yet, and it was the most work of them all. When the baby finally emerged, and the doctor handed it over for her to hold, she noticed right away that something was wrong.
Between the baby's legs, there was something there shouldn't be. *Male* body parts. She hated all males. This couldn't be her baby! She was supposed to have another daughter! This was wrong. This baby had a birth defect!
* * *
JoAnne had wanted to name her new baby Sally, but being a boy that wouldn't work. So she picked Chris, which could be a name for a girl or a boy.
She decided that she would ignore the birth defect that Chris was born with, and raise him as a girl. That way, she could use the hand-me-downs from Chris's older sisters, and not have to buy new clothes. Money was tight, and she couldn't go out and get a job with little children like she had.
* * *
At Chris's tenth birthday party, all the little girls gathered around to watch as 'she' blew out the candles on the chocolate cake, her favorite flavor. Chris wore a pretty pink dress. 'Her' long blond hair was all curled up for the occasion, and she had asked her mommy if she could wear makeup like her older sisters did.
"Not yet Chris, makeup is for older girls. Once you get to be thirteen, you can start wearing makeup sometimes."
"I can't wait until I'm thirteen!" said Chris. She wanted to be just like her older sisters. She started opening the gifts. Her friends gave her clothes for her Barbie doll, stuffed animals, or books to read. Her sisters and her mother gave her pretty clothes. She loved the new skirt her mom had picked out for her!
JoAnne looked around the room at all the happy little girls. Chris didn't play with any boys. She had taught all her daughters that boys were dirty, smelly, and would make you get sick if you were around them. Boys got all messy, made loud noises, and were mean to girls. So Jill, Lynne, Marie and Chris were very close, doing everything together. They all behaved very ladylike, prim and proper.
The only one with discipline problems, predictably, was Chris. Sometimes Chris would come home with dirt on 'her' hands and knees, and all over her skirt. JoAnne would be very strict with her, telling her that only boys played in the mud, and that she had been a bad girl.
"Jill, Lynne and Marie: you were good girls today. You get chocolate for dessert. Chris, you were a bad girl. I'm giving you a dose of castor oil."
"Yuck! Please, let me have chocolate!"
"No. That is only for good girls. If you're not going to act like a good girl, then you don't get any treats. Now come here and take your medicine."
JoAnne wanted to make sure that the girls, especially Chris, didn't play with little boys. She decided to home school them, so that they wouldn't get the chance to get mixed up with boys. She made sure to teach them well, all of the basics: reading and spelling; math; science; and that women are good, but men are bad. She would end every school day with a review of the important facts.
"Who started all the wars?" she asked.
"Men!" answered the girls.
"But who creates life and gives birth?"
"Women!"
"Very good! Who uses guns and kills people?"
"Men!"
"Yes. But who nurtures children?"
"Women!"
"Exactly. Who spreads disease, violence and evil?"
"Men!"
"You are so lucky to be little girls" said JoAnne. "Always remember that even the lowest woman is better than the nicest, highest man. And remember that if a woman ever does anything bad, it is because a *man* made her do it. They are bigger and stronger than us, and they try to take advantage of us."
The girls all nodded their heads.
"Men just want to use you for sex, but they don't really love you. Remember girls, that nobody will ever love you like I do, or like you love each other."
They had a group hug, then all started laughing and giggling.
* * *
The *real* girls were nearing puberty, and they started to undergo small changes. Jill was the eldest, so she was the first to begin to develop breasts. JoAnne made a big deal out of it, throwing a big party for Jill when she was ready to start wearing a bra.
"Jill is starting to become a *woman*" she proudly told her other three children. "Some day, all of you will be women."
"I want to be just like you, momma" said Marie.
"Me too!" said Jill.
"And me!" said Lynne.
"What about you Chris, don't you want to be just like mommy?" asked JoAnne.
Chris just stared. 'She' didn't know if she did or not. She loved her mommy, but it just didn't seem right to her. She didn't understand why. Why was she different from the other girls? She wanted to be like them because she looked up to her sisters so much. But she was different. Why did she have this thing between her legs, but they didn't?
- 上一篇:: 《她的女儿们》Her Daughters,3
- 下一篇:《她的女儿们》Her Daughters,1
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