It is difficult to explain how I felt that day. On the one hand, I was trapped in a prison in a foreign country, with no hope of escape or being released. But on the other hand, I had a chance to live out a fantasy I'd always had, being a woman. But by being forced to do it, there was also the fear and the dread. But I decided to make the best of it. What choice did I have?

"Good morning, sunshine!" said Karla, trying to cheer me up again.

"Good morning yourself" I said.

"Did you decide on the hormones? They're anxious to get you started."

"No, I don't want that."

"Oh well, your loss. Let's go get that hair worked on. You need help!"

"And I need new clothes. These are getting too dirty. And I need a better bra. This one is digging in and making me sore."

"After we get your hair done, we'll go get you some new clothes for your wardrobe. And you need your ID card today too. Then your ear piercing, and your first laser hair removal treatment."

"Sounds more like a spa than a prison."

"Well actually, we do have a spa. There is a state run school a few miles away. They send the girls here to practice on us. If they can make us look good, think of what they can do to real women."

"Hold it!" I said. "You're not a real woman?"

"Of course not. I'm here, just like you. I've just been around long enough that you can't tell too much of a difference anymore."

"And so all the women I've seen here are..."

"The guards are real women. They don't let any men in here. But they pretty much let us run the place ourselves. They give us what we need to be happy here. Be glad its not the old days when you would have just been shot."

"I'm certainly thankful for that!" I said.

"Good. Now let's get going. You have a very busy day ahead of you..."

* * *

The first week just seemed to fly by. There was always something I needed to get done. There would be many more laser treatments before I would stop having to shave my face and my chest, but they were making good progress. I was getting used to wearing a bra, now that I had one which was better fitted. And better shoes that weren't so small, and didn't hurt my feet. I had a couple of outfits, and a full makeup kit in my room now. And essentials like panties, hose, accessories, and stuff. I was even starting to get used to my earrings.

At first few days were total excitement, but by now, wearing a skirt was losing its novelty. It was becoming 'normal' to wear one, and no longer made me aroused. The same for the bra; normally it got my heart pumping to get to wear one. But now it was not only an 'every day' thing to do, it was actually required. Unless I had my own breasts. Which I wasn't about to do! I just could not picture myself taking female hormones, no matter how much they prodded me about it. The few other girls I had met here looked at me funny.

"You're not taking hormones? Why?" asked one, as if *I* was the abnormal one.

At the end of the week, Karla said that I was ready to move into the general population, and move into a sorority house. I packed my things, and she helped me move in to my new place. It was a single room in a building with twenty other 'women' like me. They were in various stages of feminization. Some were obviously men in dresses. Others could have almost passed for women. I wondered how I looked to them.

But they were all warm and friendly. They explained that there were a dozen other sororities, and each one was assigned to particular jobs at the compound, rotating every month. This month, we were all on kitchen duty, so I would soon be putting on the apron and peeling potatoes.

I met a lot of them individually. I was sitting outside with Wendy, who was explaining a few things to me. Suddenly, she got quiet, and started to whisper in my ear.

"Don't trust Karla. She's one of *them*. They're trying to reprogram our minds. Don't give in, whatever you do! The spa! They're trying to make us become...."

She looked up to see someone approaching.

"....and so that's why you need to make sure you're in by curfew" she said loudly. She shot a nervous glance over to the group of women who were walking by.

"I never told you this. We never had this conversation!" she whispered, then turned and walked away nervously.

Karla was one of them? One of who? What did she mean that were reprogramming us. Who was doing it? Reprogramming to what? I was upset and confused.

Karla was so nice! She was helping me. How could Wendy say that she was doing anything to hurt us? I was going to go talk to Karla and straighten this whole thing out. I met her as she took me to the spa for my first session there.

"You only get to go to the spa three days a week. You'll find your schedule posted in the mess hall every Monday morning. Most of us wish we could go there every day! But you will enjoy this."

"Before I go, there's something I need to tell you" I said.

"What's that?" asked Karla.

"It's this one girl I met named Wendy. She said some things about you....that you're 'one of them' and that I shouldn't trust you. I don't understand. You've been so nice to me! What does she mean?"

"Oh, she's just jealous. I've been here a long time, and I know all the guards, so I get treated pretty good. She's newer, and is still waiting for her operation. She's just blowing off steam. Once she gets 'clipped', she'll be happier. You'll come to learn that many girls can be petty, and like to gossip. I hope you don't turn out that way. You seem very nice too."

"Thanks!" I said, blushing as she led me by the hand into the spa. A pretty young girl was waiting for me by the chair.

"I'll see you in an hour!" said Karla, as she left and closed the door.

"Hi Melissa. I'm Amy. I'll be working on you today. We're going to start with a message, then a facial and eyebrow wax. Just sit back and relax. You're going to enjoy this..."

Soothing music played, and I closed my eyes, letting out small moans of pleasure from the calming feeling of the massage she started to give me...

* * *

An hour later, Karla was waiting for me when I walked out the door.

"So, how was it?" she asked.

"It was heaven!" I said. "The time just flew by. I can't believe it was an hour. I was relaxing and listening to her talk. The massage was so wonderful! It seemed like next thing I knew, time was up."

"Yes, its always like that. I'd love to stay there all day if I could" she said.

"Me too! And I'd do it 7 days a week if I could!"

"I'll see if I can sneak in an extra session for you some time. You know, get Wendy all mad at me for having inside connections."

We smiled at each other.

"But you know what the best thing was?" I asked.

"No, tell me"

"I feel so much more...pretty and feminine after doing it. Maybe it was because they waxed my eyebrows, and the facial made my skin so much softer and nicer. But I've never felt this pretty before."

"That's why natural born women enjoy the spa too" she said. "It makes *them* feel pretty and feminine. So that just goes to show that you're fitting right in. I think you were really meant to be a woman."

I smiled. What a nice complement!

* * *

Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months. I was beginning to lose track of how long I had been at this place. But now it was just part of my normal existence. I really liked being able to dress up in pretty clothes, wear makeup, shoes, jewlery....all the things I had loved to do in secret, I could do now every day, in the open.

It was no fun being stuck inside four walls, and always knowing that you were being watched by guards. But I was learning so much! I felt like I was getting my walk down better now. And I was getting to be a pro at putting on makeup. I felt prettier more and more as time passed.

The best part of the week though was getting into the spa. I couldn't get enough of it! I loved getting manicures and pedicures. I loved the massages. I loved the facials. I just couldn't get enough!

* * *

One day I was putting on my clothes in the morning. I looked at myself in the mirror as I put my falsies into my bra. I looked at myself in the mirror, with my fake breasts protruding in front of me. I hated how the bra would shift around and pull up during the day. If I had real breasts, it would hold in place. And I wouldn't have to go through putting these things in every day, pulling them out at night, washing them, and all the extra work I had to do. But more than that, my body, my chest was so...unfeminine. It just wasn't right.

It was at that moment that I realized what was wrong. I needed to have breasts. Real ones, of my own. How could I go around like I was? I felt ashamed. What kind of woman was I with a flat chest? I felt so...inadequate. I looked at the other girls down the hall. They all had nice full bosoms, and could wear tops that showed off their cleavage. I was stuck wearing high necks, because I couldn't let anyone get a glimpse of my falsies. I just felt like crying.

After breakfast, I tracked down Karla. I hadn't been spending as much time with her lately, now that I was more able to make it on my own. But she was my best friend there, and I went to her whenever I had questions or needed advise.

I explained my situation to her.

"So you see, I really want to have breasts. I feel so depressed! I want to be feminine, but how can I be without them?"

"Having breasts doesn't make you feminine" she insisted. "Think about women who have breast cancer, and need to have them removed. Are they not women?"

"I guess not" I said.

"No, they are as much a woman without them as they are with. But I understand. You are adjusting to your new body image, and you feel a need to meet it."

I nodded.

"Well Melissa, they won't pay for implants here. That would be asking too much! But we can go get you started on female hormones. It won't be a sudden thing, but over time, you'll grow real breasts, just like a real woman does."

"Yes!" I said. "I need that. Where do I go?"

She took me by the hand to the medical building, where I waited in line until it was my turn. I went in, and told the woman doctor my problem.

"I'm writing a script for female hormones. Take three of these a day, with meals until we determine the proper estrogen level in your body. Also, rub this cream onto your breasts every night. It will help them to grow. Finally, this red pill is an accelerant. Take this once a day, and it will help speed up the process. Don't worry honey, in time, you'll get your breasts."

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