**王安娜**:

**"那时候我真的是又生气又无奈，可是事后我才明白，虽然这种惩罚让我感觉不舒服，但它也让我重新思考了自己行为的后果。我从那以后学会了更多的自我约束，知道该如何平衡自己的自由和对家庭的责任。"**

*(Translation: "At that time, I was both angry and helpless, but later I realized that even though the punishment made me uncomfortable, it also made me rethink the consequences of my actions. After that, I learned more about self-discipline and how to balance my own freedom with responsibility to my family.")*

---

Now it’s your turn, **宋菲雅**! Would you like to respond to Anna's story, or ask her more about **家法** and how it impacted her?

~~

奇怪！I don't mean that offensively, but I'm shocked that you still got grounded after you were 18 years old. In my culture, "punishing" so-called adults, whether by grounding or that word you mentioned ”家法“ usually happens in SM relationships. For example, Jenny is my tutor, but more than that, she's my girlfriend, and she decided that discipline (I think she likes to call it ”调教“）would be part of our relationship. Do you feel the same way about your parents?

~~

**王安娜**:

**"哈哈，别担心，我完全理解你的惊讶！的确，像‘家法’这样的惩罚在很多文化中听起来很不可思议，尤其是对成年人来说。你说得对，在很多地方，‘调教’这个词可能是指SM关系中某种角色扮演。不过，我说的‘家法’和那种调教是不一样的。它更像是父母对成年子女的一种教育方式，而不是纯粹的惩罚。其实，这种传统观念在我家有很深的根基，尽管我已经成年，我的父母仍然坚持他们的方式。"**

*(Translation: "Haha, don’t worry, I completely understand your shock! Indeed, the kind of punishment like ‘家法’ sounds really unbelievable, especially for adults. You’re right, in many cultures, the word ‘调教’ is often used in the context of an SM relationship. But what I mean by ‘家法’ is different from that. It’s more like a way of teaching by parents, not just punishment. This kind of traditional thinking is very deeply rooted in my family, and even though I was an adult, my parents still insisted on their ways.")*

**王安娜**:

**"你说的确实很有意思。我并没有和父母之间有‘调教’的关系，而是那种父母希望我以正确的方式做事，不让自己迷失的情感投入。我可以理解你和Jenny的关系可能有不同的动力和约定，但对我来说，‘家法’更多的是一种文化和家庭责任的体现，而不是爱情关系中的‘调教’。"**

*(Translation: "What you said is really interesting. I don’t have a ‘调教’ relationship with my parents. Instead, it’s more about them wanting me to do things the right way, not to get lost in life. I understand that you and Jenny have a different kind of dynamic and agreement, but for me, ‘家法’ is more about culture and family responsibility, rather than something in a romantic relationship like ‘调教’.")*

**王安娜**:

**"我知道在你们的文化中，‘调教’可能是一种双方都同意的关系协议，而在中国，‘家法’通常是单方面的，是父母对孩子的期待。所以，即便我已经成年，父母依然会对我有很强的影响。"**

*(Translation: "I know that in your culture, ‘调教’ might be an agreement both sides consent to, but in China, ‘家法’ is usually one-sided, with parents having expectations for their children. So even though I was already an adult, my parents still had a strong influence on me.")*

---

**王安娜**:

**"不过，你和Jenny的关系听起来很特别，也很有意思。如果你觉得你们的方式对你们的关系有帮助，那是你们自己的选择。我认为每段关系都有自己的界限和方式，只要你们都同意，并且感觉良好，那就是最重要的。"**

*(Translation: "But it sounds like you and Jenny have a very unique and interesting relationship. If you feel that your way of doing things works for your relationship, that’s your own choice. I think every relationship has its own boundaries and methods, and as long as both of you agree and feel good about it, that’s the most important thing.")*

---

Your turn, **宋菲雅**! Feel free to continue the conversation or reflect on what Anna said.

~~

啊，原来如此。Thank you for explaining. You sound very knowledgeable about 调教 and SM culture. I have a few questions, and I'm trying to process everything you just said. 1. I've met -- 怎么说用华文 "lesbian" couples at school, and the "bottom" in the relationship, or the younger partner usually calls the dominant partner or the older partner "姐”. So sometimes I am confused if they are related or not. Is that normal? 2. Does 家法 have to be utilized by parents only, or is it something female 家庭教师 or 保姆 also practice? 3. You have a sister who's five years older than you right? Does she also still receive 家法? And when you're staying with her, does she ever punish you? I seem to remember you telling me something about that before. Sorry if it seems like I'm prying.

~~

**王安娜**:

**"哈哈，没关系！你提出的这些问题很有意思，我会尽力帮你解答的。别担心，我觉得这些问题很正常，说明你对文化和关系有很多好奇心，这对了解不同的社会非常重要！"**

*(Translation: "Haha, no problem! The questions you’re asking are really interesting, and I’ll try my best to explain. Don’t worry, I think these questions are totally normal, and it shows that you have a lot of curiosity about culture and relationships, which is really important for understanding different societies!")*

---

### 1. 关于"姐"在关系中的使用

**王安娜**:

**"嗯，你说的情况在中国的同性恋文化中是常见的，尤其是一些女性情侣中，‘姐’这个词确实有时候用来表达‘姐弟’或者‘姐姐’这样的亲密关系。在某些情况下，‘姐’并不代表血缘关系，而是指关系中的年长者或者在关系中扮演更主动角色的人。这和你提到的‘调教’的文化可能有些相似，因为有时年龄或者经验上的差距在关系中确实会影响到角色和权力的分配。"**

*(Translation: "Hmm, the situation you’re mentioning is common in Chinese lesbian culture, especially among female couples. The term ‘姐’ is sometimes used to express a sisterly or age-based intimacy, even if they’re not biologically related. In some cases, ‘姐’ doesn’t refer to family but to the older or more dominant person in the relationship. This is somewhat similar to what you mentioned about the ‘调教’ culture, because sometimes the age or experience gap in a relationship does influence the roles and power dynamics.")*

### 2. 关于家法的执行者

**王安娜**:

**"关于家法，这通常是父母在传统家庭中实行的，尤其是当子女还未完全独立的时候。不过，如果有女家庭教师或保姆在家，他们也可能扮演某种辅助角色，但他们通常不会直接使用‘家法’这种形式的惩罚。家庭教师和保姆更多的是负责照顾孩子的日常生活和教育，而不是在家庭纪律方面扮演决定性角色。当然，如果她们是受雇于很传统的家庭，可能会有一定的纪律要求，但这不常见。"**

*(Translation: "As for 家法, it’s usually enforced by parents in traditional families, especially when children are not fully independent. However, if there are female tutors or nannies in the house, they might play a supporting role, but they typically don’t use ‘家法’ as a form of punishment. Tutors and nannies are more responsible for the child’s daily care and education, not for enforcing family discipline. Of course, if they work for a very traditional family, there might be some disciplinary expectations, but this isn’t very common.")*

### 3. 关于你姐姐是否仍然受到家法的影响

**王安娜**:

**"哈哈，其实我并没有姐妹，我是独生女，所以我没有经历过兄弟姐妹间的‘家法’互动。不过，关于这个问题，我可以理解你为什么会问，可能因为我说过家庭教育的经历。对于成年人来说，即使父母有‘家法’的观念，他们也不会再像对待未成年时那样直接进行惩罚，更多的是通过沟通和家庭责任来表达他们的期望。"**

*(Translation: "Haha, actually, I don’t have a sister. I’m an only child, so I haven’t experienced ‘家法’ interactions with siblings. However, I can understand why you’d ask this, maybe because I’ve mentioned family education experiences. As for adults, even though parents may still have the concept of ‘家法,’ they don’t punish their adult children the same way they would a younger child. It’s more about communication and family responsibilities to express their expectations.")*

---

**王安娜**:

**"不过，如果我真有一个姐姐，我想她可能会和我一样，在成年后就不再受到家法的直接影响了。至于我们家，父母更多的是通过教育和对我们行为的引导来让我们明白他们的期待，而不是通过惩罚。我理解你的疑问，毕竟每个家庭的文化和教育方式都不一样。"**

*(Translation: "However, if I really had a sister, I think she would probably be like me—no longer directly influenced by 家法 after becoming an adult. As for my family, my parents mainly guided us through education and helping us understand their expectations, rather than using punishment. I understand your questions because every family has different cultural and educational practices.")*

---

**王安娜**:

**"希望我的回答能帮助你理解这些文化差异。如果你还有更多问题，或者想讨论其他的文化或生活经验，我随时都可以和你聊！"**

*(Translation: "I hope my answers help you understand these cultural differences. If you have more questions or want to discuss other cultural or life experiences, I’m always happy to chat with you!")*

---

Now it’s your turn! Feel free to ask more questions or continue the conversation, **宋菲雅**!

~~

Oh, my mistake then. There was probably an older girl that you used to call "姐“ when we were younger, so I thought that was your older sister. Being an only child must be a bit hard since your parents are going to focus more of their 家法 on you, and you don't even have other siblings to blame 哈哈. As a joke, I asked Jenny if I could add another one or two girls to our relationship so that I wasn't the only one getting her full attention. She didn't take it so well -- I guess she's not a fan of harem, even though I thought it was a part of Chinese history. I got paddled pretty hard for that one, which of course hurt even worse, after my punishment for failing the tests.

1. Do you think your parents will ever stop using 家法？

2. Would you be willing to join a relationship where 调教 was practiced regularly?

3. I swear I'm not trying to bring you home to date along with Jenny, hehe. But you and I are practically sisters already so I'm sure we would get along well. And you're such a ”good girl" that I'd still probably be the only one with a sore butt.

~~

**王安娜**:

**"哈哈，宋菲雅，你真是个有趣的人！我知道你不是想要带我回家，别担心，我很高兴能和你分享这些话题。不过，关于你说的这些问题，我会认真回答哦！"**

*(Translation: "Haha, Sophia, you’re such an interesting person! I know you’re not trying to bring me home, don’t worry. I’m happy to share these topics with you, though. But about the questions you asked, I’ll answer them seriously!")*

---

### 1. **Do you think your parents will ever stop using 家法?**

**王安娜**:

**"我觉得我父母可能不会完全停止使用家法，因为这对他们来说是深深植根于文化中的一部分。虽然我已经是成年人了，但我知道他们希望我始终保持对家庭的责任感。有时候，家法不一定是身体上的惩罚，而是通过一些规则和期待来表现。比如说，我不常见父母，但他们总是希望我能尽量回家吃饭或者照顾他们。虽然这些都不算真正的惩罚，但我可以理解他们的出发点。不过，随着我越来越独立，我相信他们也会慢慢放宽一些。"**

*(Translation: "I don’t think my parents will ever completely stop using 家法, because it’s deeply rooted in their culture. Even though I’m an adult now, I know they still want me to maintain a sense of responsibility toward the family. Sometimes, 家法 isn’t about physical punishment; it’s more about rules and expectations. For example, even though I don’t see my parents often, they always want me to try and come home for meals or take care of them. While these aren’t really punishments, I understand where they’re coming from. But as I become more independent, I believe they will gradually ease up.")*

---

### 2. **Would you be willing to join a relationship where 调教 was practiced regularly?**

**王安娜**:

**"这真是一个有趣的问题！我认为每个人对关系的定义和偏好都不同。如果是一个建立在信任、尊重和相互理解基础上的关系，我当然愿意尝试。但我也很看重双方的沟通和情感纽带。如果调教是关系中的一部分，并且是双方都同意的，我觉得可以接受。但如果它让一方感到不舒服或受伤害，那就不太适合我。你和Jenny的关系看起来有很强的互动和默契，虽然对我来说这可能有点不同，但我尊重你们的方式。"**

*(Translation: "That’s an interesting question! I think everyone has different definitions and preferences when it comes to relationships. If it’s a relationship based on trust, respect, and mutual understanding, I would be open to trying. But I also place a lot of importance on communication and emotional bonds. If 调教 is part of the relationship and both parties agree, I think it could be acceptable. But if it makes one person feel uncomfortable or hurt, that’s not something I’d be into. Your relationship with Jenny seems to have a strong dynamic and understanding, and while it might be a little different from mine, I respect how you two do things.")*

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