“我没那么想。但确实，我开始让他做我想做的事。他从没察觉是我把想法植入他脑海。直到最后，他几乎没注意到自己正在变成我。我只是想象自己回到原来的身体，慢慢地，他的身体开始变成这样。”

她优雅地挥手示意自己的身体。

“你怎么让他穿上你的衣服？”

“买回我的旧衣服后，他对裹在胸口的绷带不满意，想遮住他的‘胸部’。我就让他想到穿我的胸罩，因为它更柔软，不会像绷带那样滑落。他穿上后，我更能控制他了。我觉得他喜欢变漂亮。”

“喜欢？”

“是的，因为他越来越安静。到我们到家附近时，我完全听不到他了。我觉得他还在我身体里，但无能为力，就像我刚回来时一样。”

“所以他现在只是个旁观者，感受你的思想和感觉？”丽莎说。

“是的，我觉得是这样。”

“天堂是什么样的？”丽莎问。

“与其说是个地方，不如说是种感觉。纯粹的爱、光和幸福。完美无瑕，但缺了一样：我的家人、朋友，你，都在这里。这里才是我现在归属的地方。总有一天我会回去，但首先我要完成我的使命，让世界更美好。我想有自己的孩子，找到爱，过充实的生活。”

“有你回来真好，乔。”丽莎说着，给了她一个大大的拥抱。两个女孩笑着，泪水同时流下。

________________________________________

汽车喇叭声响起。乔琳立刻认出那是爸爸老别克的独特声音。她跑出谷仓，伸开双臂，长发在身后飞扬，迫不及待地要与亲爱的爸爸妈妈重聚……

Change of Heart

by Jennifer White

Tom laid in the recovery room, glad to be alive. When his heart had failed, they had told him that there was almost no chance of finding a donor. But at the last moment, just when it looked like he was a goner, a heart showed up on the network that was a very close match. It was flown in, and after an incredibly long and complicated surgery, it was now beating in his chest. He was so thankful! But now he needed to rest. It would be a long recovery.

* * *

Tom was almost ready to resume his normal life. It had been a long hard process recovering from such a major surgery! The pain, the torment, the hard work. But now he was feeling much better, and was rapidly regaining his strength.

However, Tom was troubled by one thing. He had asked the doctors to tell him whose heart he now had, because he desperately wanted to thank the family, and do something for them.

"I'm sorry Tom, but that information is confidential. We cannot tell you who donated the heart, and we cannot tell her family who received it. That is part of the rules that the organ donation network puts in place. It protects both sides. It was enough losing their daughter in a car accident. It would be too painful for them to deal with. They are better off if you leave them alone. If you want to show your gratitude, you can give a donation to the organ network. And for god's sake, quit drinking and smoking, so that this heart has a chance."

"I already have quit. For life" said Tom.

It was true. He had resolved to quit many times, but never was able to go through with it. But now, after all these months of rehab, he was clean, and felt that he would never need to drink or smoke again.

He really did want to know where the heart came from though, and he smiled on the inside, because the doctor had let something slip. He had said 'her family'. So it was a woman who had donated her heart, which now beat inside his chest.

* * *

Before Tom could go back to work, he did some research on the internet. He looked up all car accidents across the entire country, but not near home. He knew they had flown in the heart, so it wasn't local. Then he narrowed down the list by eliminating ones where the person who died was male. That left 11 possible deaths that fit within the time frame where they could have brought the heart to him.

Digging in deeper, he found that 3 of them involved elderly people, whose hearts would not be good candidates for donation. And 5 were under the age of 10, again far too young to donate to an adult. That left only three more, that could be the one.

One of them was in Georgia, one in New York, and one in Illinois. Tom wondered if there was a way to narrow it down further, or if he would have to go there in person to investigate. He read each of the stories again, in full detail. He discovered that the New York accident involved a fire after the crash, and the victims had burned. That left only Illinois and Georgia. He vowed to find out which it was.

* * *

Tom had to concentrate on work for a while. He needed the money after such an expensive surgery. However, he had received donations, and that helped a little. But it was almost a year after his operation that he finally had enough money saved up in order to go on a trip.

He was feeling fine now, in better shape than he had been since he was a teenager. With a strong new heart, he was able to be athletic again. And without smoking and drinking, his health was *so* much better than before. He could hardly believe that he had ever done that to himself.

Tom drove to the airport feeling good. He was about to find out the truth, and find a way to repay the family of the woman that gave her heart to him. And the first stop was Illinois.

The flight to Chicago O'Hare was uneventful. Tom rented a car, and headed west, then south into the farm country of central Illinois. It was very flat land, but with rich soil that yielded a bountiful crop. He arrived at the little town where the woman had lived, and checked into a hotel. Actually, *the* hotel, since there was only one in the town. He had decided that he would pretend to be a reporter, and would start out by asking questions of the locals before he spoke to the family.

The next day, he started out poking around the town. The folks were friendly, and he sat around quite a gathering at the local bar, where the woman had worked. He wrote down notes as the waitresses told stories about her, and remembered her fondly. She seemed like such a wonderful person...the type that would have filled in an organ donor card. He was already rehearsing in his head what he would say when he met her folks.

"But it was so sad that they had to have a closed casket at the funeral" said the lady.

"Why was that?" he replied.

"Well, the body was crushed by the truck. It was the saddest thing I ever felt, knowing that she was lying in that box up on the table."

Tom almost cried himself. But now he knew something: that woman, as wonderful as she was, could not have been his donor. It must have been Georgia.

* * *

The next day, Tom was again flying, but this time to Atlanta. He sat next to a nice older lady, who was quite a talker. She talked the whole trip in fact, with her slow southern drawl. It sounded very melodic to him. And the funny thing was, that accent was almost addicting. Because as he said good-bye to her, he noticed that just a tinge of it had crept into his own voice.

"No wonder they all talk like that down here, its so easy to pick up" he thought.

Tom rented another car, and drove towards the small southern town where Jolene Henderson had grown up, and lived all 26 years of her life. He was sure that she had to be the one who had donated her heart. But just as in the little town in Illinois, he would do some legwork first, to confirm it.

Tom checked into the motel, and unpacked his bags. He hung up his clothes, so they wouldn't get too wrinkled. He was unsatisfied at how most of them looked, so he got out the ironing board and iron from the closet, and went to work. He hadn't ironed since he could remember, but he felt a lot better once his clothes looked neat and clean.

Next, Tom drove around the town to get a feel for this place. Something about the town seemed very familiar, but he couldn't put a finger on it. It was like seeing a place that you had visited in a dream. It was elusive, but he had the strongest sense of Deja Vu, that he had been there before. Perhaps it was the smell of the air. Perhaps it was the way one small town looked like the next. But Tom could not shake the feeling that he had been there before.

He parked his car at the diner, knowing that it was the spot where the best gossip would be going down. He took a seat at the counter, and looked up to see a pretty young girl, with long hair. He immediately knew that her name was Lisa.

"How did I know that?" he thought, but then he saw the name tag on her shirt. He must have glimpsed that before. How would he have known her name otherwise?

"Hi Lisa. I'd like a cup of coffee, black" he said.

"I'm sorry, I don't know your name" she replied. "You sound like you're from around these here parts, but I don't know you."

Had that southern drawl crept into his voice that much? He hadn't even noticed.

"My name is Tom. I am a reporter, and I'm here to do a story on Jolene Henderson. You knew her, didn't you?"

It was a hunch, but one that turned out to be spot on.

"Yes, she was my best friend. We haven't talked about Jolene around here in quite some time. Her folks are still really shook up about it."

"I can understand" said Tom, taking out his notepad. "Tell me what you know about her."

"Well, she was the nicest kindest person I have ever met. She took in stray animals, and nursed them back to health. She donated her time to help children, like helping tutor at the school, or volunteering to be a lifeguard at the pool in the summer."

Tom wrote notes as Lisa spoke.

"And she would never hurt a flea. She helped people, even in death. Did you know that she donated her organs, so that someone could have a new heart or a new liver?"

Tom put a star next to Jolene's name, and circled it. Bingo, he had found his donor. His heart (her heart really) was beating rapidly with excitement.

"I've got to go wait on some other customers. Why don't we meet for dinner, say 8:00 at Jimmy's? Its the best restaurant in town, and it was Jolene's favorite. Do you know where it is?"

"Sure, 5th and Elm. I'll see you there at 8:00" said Tom. He must have passed the restaurant when he drove around, because he could picture its location in his mind. Spending a dinner with Lisa also sounded inviting. He would spend the rest of the day exploring the town, and meet up for his dinner date later on.

* * *

Tom changed into a clean shirt for dinner. He had walked around the streets of the town, and was somewhat sweaty from the heat and humidity. He showered, shaved, and put on one of the clean shirts he had ironed. It was just five blocks to Jimmy's, so Tom walked it.

The cleaners must have put too much starch into his shirt or something, because as he walked, his chest itched. He scratched it several times, but the itching didn't stop. He would just have to ignore it.

When he arrived at Jimmy's, he asked if he could sit at the table in the corner, which looked to be the best seat in the place. A few minutes later, Lisa arrived, looking much prettier, now that she was in her own clothes, rather than a uniform at a diner.

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