重新编程

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这太残忍，太不道德了。但柯林斯博士还有啥办法？赌博欠了一屁股债，他别无选择，只能干这事，才能弄到急需的钱。这些人可不是闹着玩的！不还钱，他们可能杀了他，或至少弄残他。为了脱身，他啥都愿意干。所以，他只能照他们“要求”的做。他们许诺，干了这事就免他一大笔债。

他咋就陷进了非法赌博？可现在后悔晚了。他得按他们说的做。

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柯林斯博士在市中心一栋楼的暗室里见了联系人。

“带钱了吗？”联系人低沉沙哑地问，带点俄国或东欧口音。

“你知道我凑不出350万！”柯林斯博士说。

“那就帮我们个忙，抵点债。”

“啥忙？”他忐忑地问。

“你是心理医生，对吧？我们需要给一个人改改脑子。这家伙欠我们大麻烦。你得让他换个思考方式。给他重新编程。”

这违背他在学校学的一切。但有啥选择？要么违背职业道德，要么丢了膝盖骨，或者更糟。他不情愿地同意了。

“要改啥？”他问。

联系人告诉他要做的事，他震惊了。恶心又错误，但他只能照办。

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到了约定时间，柯林斯博士的联系人带着一个吓得要死的年轻人来了，看起来不超过三十岁。显然，他不想进屋，但被另一个男人外套口袋里的枪“鼓励”着。

“你好，我是柯林斯博士。”

“嗨，我是雷。”紧张的年轻人说。

“你们俩有得忙了。”另一个男人摘下帽子，不在意地说，“我在外头等。你知道干啥。”他瞪了柯林斯博士一眼。

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他走后，雷坐在经典的皮沙发上，柯林斯博士坐在高背黑椅上，椅子扶手舒服。他深吸一口气。

“他们花钱让你对我干啥？”雷问。

“他们没付钱。我欠他们的。或者说，我该还，但还不起。”

“懂了。你欠他们钱。我不怪你。”

“谢谢你理解。这对我跟你一样难。但往好处想，完事后，你会忘了所有麻烦。”

“然后有一堆新麻烦，我敢肯定。”雷说。

柯林斯博士拉过椅子，开始工作。他掏出一块老式怀表，晃动着让雷进入催眠状态。

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有很多技术能帮人克服问题。柯林斯博士精通不少。对眼前这个独特问题，他用了催眠术。

患者进入催眠状态后，常会用“年龄回溯”技术，带他们回到年轻时。这常用来找被压抑的记忆，确定问题根源。

但这次，柯林斯博士不是挖问题根源，而是种下一颗问题种子。

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人达到高潮时，身体会释放催产素到血液中，与高潮的愉悦感相关。第一次接触催产素会在人脑中留下深刻印象。因此，人们总想一次次重现第一次性体验。比如，来自虐待关系的人常会回到类似关系，试图重温初次性体验。

柯林斯博士探查，直到找到雷的第一次性体验。那是他偷拿父亲的《Hustler》杂志，躲在浴室，用右手自慰。他不知道一直揉那儿会怎样，只知道感觉好。

如常人一样，因第一次性体验是硬核色情，这成了他最大的兴奋点。他常去脱衣舞俱乐部，雇妓女，看成人片，总在挑战极限。

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患者在催眠状态下极易接受暗示。所以心理医生探查记忆时得小心。但现在，柯林斯博士得做他平时绝不会做的事：说服雷他的记忆错了。他得捏造记忆，或调整雷的初次记忆。

“雷，你拿着杂志。在哪儿？”柯林斯博士说。

“浴室，躲着。”雷含糊说。

“不，你不在那儿。看看周围。你被衣服围着。你在父母的衣橱里。”

“我在父母的衣橱里。”雷说。

“为啥在那儿？”柯林斯博士问。

“躲起来看杂志。”他答。

“是，但不只。你穿啥？”

“我的衣服。”雷说。

“不。你在父母衣橱里，躲着穿你妈的衣服。你穿着她胸罩和内裤，对吧？”

“她胸罩和内裤……”雷说。

“你还穿她裙子，鞋子也穿了。你脚太小，鞋不合。”

“我穿着她衣服……”他嘀咕。

“是，雷。你穿着你妈的衣服。现在干啥？”

“看裸女照片。”

“是，雷。你想啥？”

“我爱她，照片里的金发女。”

“不，雷。你不爱她。你想做她。”

“我想做她？”他说。

“是。你希望你是照片里那个漂亮女人。”

“我希望我是她……”他说。

“是！再说一遍！”

“我希望我是她……”雷说。

“你希望做女孩。”

“我希望做女孩。”

“很好，雷。现在干啥？”

“我在揉自己。越来越用力。然后爆发了。”

“高潮时想啥？”

“不知道。”雷说。

“你在想：我是女孩！我是女孩！”

“我是女孩。”雷重复。

“你弄脏了你妈的裙子！最好藏起来！”

“我最好藏起来。”他说。

“是，雷。但你爱刚才的感觉，对吧？”

“是。”

“很好，雷。”

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柯林斯博士又重温这事件，确保新“正确”版本牢牢刻在雷脑子里。然后他带雷回到现在，添加其他重要里程碑事件。接近当前时，他做了个他们没要求但他认为重要的最后调整。之后，他才让雷退出催眠。

“啥时候开始？”雷说。

“完事了。”柯林斯博士说，叫来另一个男人。

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柯林斯博士出去跟等候室的男人说话。

“得几周才完全生效。”他低声说。男人点头，谢了柯林斯博士，撕毁一张欠条。

“现在一半，成功后再一半。”

“谢谢。”柯林斯博士说，掏出怀表，开始晃。

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十五分钟后，男人走了。柯林斯博士回到雷那儿。

“你不会对我干啥吧？”雷说。

“不。你可以走了。”柯林斯博士说。

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雷回家，松口气，感觉啥也没发生。或许他欠钱的谢尔盖只是吓唬他。吓是吓到了。他得更努力凑钱，彻底摆脱谢尔盖。

他回家，跟同居女友玛丽亚做爱。通常这让他平静放松，很快入睡。但今晚还行，却没平时满足。完事后，她比他早睡着。

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第二天，雷读报纸，看到服装店广告，三个女人穿胸罩，只拍下巴到腹部，胸罩很显眼。不知为何，他盯着照片，下体硬了。

他觉得怪，服装模特照片平时不让他兴奋。但没多想。他是男人，啥都能让他激动。

他吻别玛丽亚，去上班。看着她长发，他有点嫉妒，相比自己短黑发。她的发丝垂下，遮住部分脸，过肩。他又兴奋了。长发从没单独让他激动。怪。

工作时，他盯着办公室女人，盯着她们膝上的短裙，今天挪不开眼。或许他厌倦了玛丽亚，陷入男人典型模式：一旦女友允许性爱，就想要别的女人。但他从不这样，感情一向专一。这又怪了。

他忍不住看女人穿的可爱鞋子，露趾秀美甲，高跟显小腿性感，尖头，亮色。低头看自己棕色乐福鞋，单调乏味。

对面工位坐着琳达。他转身看她。她外套脱了，挂在隔断墙上。薄白上衣清晰透出胸罩轮廓。他下体又激动。他真兴奋。

他突然想到：或许那心理医生对他干了啥！他突然对每个女人着迷。或许谢尔盖让医生让他对每个女人有吸引力。

但为啥？没道理。雷心烦意乱，决定下午请假，回家清清脑子。

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回家后，雷进卧室换下西装领带，穿上舒服的短裤T恤。下楼放松看电视。HBO的动作片没劲，ESPN的体育无聊。ESPN2有女子网球。他盯着女孩的白色短裙，兴奋激动。他没看她们挥拍，也没看胸部抖动，眼睛盯着裙子。他关电视，在屋里踱步。他咋了？

他决定自慰，缓解性紧张。他进卧室，关门。翻开玛丽亚的《Glamour》杂志，找性感女人当视觉刺激。他翻页，竟饶有兴趣地读秋季新时尚文章。看模特穿毛衣长裙，他兴奋了。

他开始抚摸自己，盯着照片。他兴奋，但还没高潮。缺了点啥。不够刺激。他瞥见开着的衣橱门，看到玛丽亚的衣服挂着，眼睛锁定一件海军蓝裙子。看着它，他感到兴奋，走到衣橱拿出裙子。既然女装今天让他兴奋，他就用它自慰。

他把裙子放床上，继续抚摸。现在兴奋多了，但还是不对。裙子瘫在那儿，空荡荡。看着刺激，但……

雷发现自己拿起裙子，手抚摸柔软面料。他站起来，把裙子贴在身上。照镜子，看到自己身后裙子，差点高潮。他拉开后拉链，穿上裙子，拉上拉链，转圈感受裙摆旋转。强烈快感淹没他。

他看到内衣抽屉微开，瞥见玛丽亚胸罩的带子。胸罩今天也在他脑子里。他拿起一件，闻了闻，抚摸罩杯，感受钢圈力量。不知不觉，他穿上胸罩，扣好背扣。

照镜子，他感觉要爆发了！这很变态，但太刺激了！他从没这感觉，但穿玛丽亚的衣服感觉……对。裙摆环绕，胸罩支撑，让他感觉完整。轻轻一碰，他就在快感和喜悦中爆发。

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那天发现后，雷找任何借口独自在家，扮女孩。每次都更进一步。给胸罩塞东西，穿内裤，化妆，穿连裤袜，买打折束身衣。他开始收集女装。

玛丽亚跟闺蜜去外地参加婚礼，他整整一天扮女孩！他特意买了金色假发，全程女装。

那时他第一次想公开这样出去。他可以公开做女人，没人会看出区别！他在咖啡店或酒吧遇女人，坐着聊。

“我现在跟她们一样。”他想。他爱女人立刻接受他是女人。即使她们怀疑他是男人，也对他很好！

但他扮女孩外出时回家太晚，犯了大错。他进门，玛丽亚正跟凯西坐在沙发上聊旅行。

“天哪！雷，你干啥？！”她说。

他答不上来。

“玛丽亚，你男友不是男人！”凯西几乎嘲笑。

“雷！你怎么能这样？”

“玛丽亚！”他说，“求你，不是你想的那样。我爱你！我只想跟你一样。我希望我生来是女人，像你一样。求你别生气。”

“别生气？你怎么瞒我！怪不得我衣服上有褶子，裙子上有污渍。你这变态！”她泪流满面，抓起行李箱，和凯西冲出屋。

雷独自哭泣，妆花了。

“下次买防水睫毛膏。”他说。

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雷现在独居，下班后每天能扮女装。他开始刮腿毛，在西装下穿内裤胸罩。只有他知道，这让他兴奋。

他在网上买了假胸。周五下班装上，到周一早得准备上班才卸下。胸罩空荡时，他觉得空虚平庸。或许该买广告的丰胸霜，让胸部长大。那才刺激！

周六晚准备出门，有人敲门。他心跳加速。或许是玛丽亚回来了！他解链锁，开门。大错特错！门外是谢尔盖。

“上车。”他命令。

雷顺从，惊叹谢尔盖的权威感。他好强壮，阳刚。雷心动。

到了柯林斯博士办公室，谢尔盖命雷上楼。他们进办公室，锁门。谢尔盖和柯林斯博士进里间独处，雷在待客室，专心读《Elle》。

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“两个月了，如你所言，他成了男人身的女人。”谢尔盖说，“我免你债。”

他递给柯林斯博士另一张欠条，他高兴地撕毁。终于摆脱这些人！现在，他要报复仇。他挥手，低念咒语。

“记住你的训练。”他说。

谢尔盖一脸茫然。柯林斯博士打响指，谢尔盖眨眼。

“叫他进来。还是说‘她’？”柯林斯博士笑。

谢尔盖微笑。这家伙真会干。他们得再找他。

“过来！”谢尔盖说。雷很听话。

“从今起，你叫艾米丽。”谢尔盖说。

“我是艾米丽。”他答。

“很好。”

艾米丽走近谢尔盖，在他耳边低语：“我爱你。”

谢尔盖退缩。这刚变成女人的男人爱他？恶心！但更糟的是，艾米丽说这话时，他内心一跳！他竟有回应！不！这是穿裙子的男人。他不能被吸引！但下体的硬度不同意。

“吻我。”艾米丽说。

谢尔盖拥抱她，深吻。艾米丽感觉谢尔盖贴着“她”身体的硬度。谢尔盖感盖觉到艾米丽的手在摸他臀部，更兴奋。

拥抱结束，两人都疯狂相爱。

“孩子们，出去玩吧。”柯林斯博士说。

“再见！晚安！”艾米丽说。

“谢谢医生，谢谢一切。”谢尔盖说。

“不谢。开车小心。”柯林斯博士笑着说。他们笑得像一对恩爱的小年轻，真好看。

The Reprogramming

by Jennifer White

It was cruel. It was unethical. But what else could Dr. Collins do? He was so far in debt from his gambling, that he had no choice but to do this. Then he'd have the money he so desperately needed. These people were serious! They might kill him, or at least hurt him if he didn't pay up. He would do anything to get out of it. So he had no choice but to do as they 'asked' him. They promised to forgive a large amount of his debt if he did this.

Oh why had he ever fallen into illegal gambling in the first place? But it was too late now. He had to do what they asked of him.

Dr. Collins had met his contact in a darkened room, in a building downtown.

"Did you bring the money?" asked the contact in a low gravely voice, with an accent that sounded Russian, or at least eastern European..

"You know there is no way I can raise $3.5 million!" said Dr. Collins.

"Then you can work some of it off by doing a favor for us."

"What kind of favor?" he asked with trepidation.

"You're a psychologist, right? We need to make a few mental adjustments to someone. This guy is in big trouble with us. So you're going to make a few changes to how he thinks. You're going to reprogram him for us."

It went against everything he had learned in school. But what choice was there? It was either violate ethics, or lose his kneecaps. Or worse. So he reluctantly agreed.

"What changes to I have to make?" he asked.

When his contact told him what needed to be done, he was shocked. It was sick and wrong, but there was nothing he could do but to do as he was told.

* * *

At the appointed hour, Dr. Collin's contact arrived, along with a scared looking young man, who must have been no more than 30 years of age. It was clear that he was reluctant to enter the room, but he was being 'encouraged' by the gun in the coat pocket of the other man.

"Hello, I am Dr. Collins"

"Hi. I'm Ray" said the nervous man.

"You two have a lot of work to do" said the unworried man, taking off his hat. "I will wait outside. You know what to do" he said, with a glare towards Dr. Collins.

After he left, Ray sat on the stereotypical leather couch, while Dr. Collins sat in his black chair with the high back and comfortable arms. He took a deep breath.

"So, what are they paying you to do to me?" asked Ray.

"They're not paying me. I'm paying them. Or at least I'm supposed to, but I can't afford it."

"I see. You're into them for money. Well, I don't blame you."

"I'm glad you understand. This is as hard for me as it is for you. But look at the bright side; when you're done, you'll forget all of your problems."

"And have a new set of problems, I'm sure" said Ray.

Dr. Collins pulled his chair over, and began his work. He pulled out an old fashioned watch on a chain, and used it to put Ray under.

There are various techniques which can be used to help people overcome problems they have. Dr. Collins was schooled in many such techniques. For the very unique problem he had before him, he used a form of hypnosis.

Once a patient was in a hypnotic trance, it was not uncommon to use an 'age regression' technique to bring the subject back to the time when they were younger. This was often used to help find repressed memories, to determine what was the root of a problem.

But in this case, Dr. Collins would not root out a problem. He would plant the seeds of one instead.

When a person has an orgasm, the body naturally releases a substance called oxytocin into the bloodstream. It is associated with the feeling of pleasure that accompanies the orgasm. The first exposure to oxytocin tends to make a very strong impression in people's minds. For that reason, people will almost always try to play out again and again their first sexual experience. That is why for example that someone from an abusive relationship tends to go back to the same type of relationship again the next time. They seek to relive their first sexual experience, over and over.

Dr. Collins probed until he found the very first time that Ray had *his* first sexual experience. It had been with his father's copy of Hustler, hiding the bathroom, using his right hand on himself while he read it. He didn't know what would happen if he kept rubbing there, he just knew it felt good.

And as is typical for people, because his first sexual experience was with hard-core pornography, it became his best turn-on, and what he tried for. He frequented strip clubs, hired hookers, watched XXX films, and was always pushing the limits.

When a patient is in a trance, they are very open to suggestion. That is why a psychologist must be very careful when probing through memories. But now Dr. Collins had to do something he never would have done normally; convince Ray that his memory was wrong. He had to fabricate a memory, or adjust Ray's first memory a little.

"Ray, you're holding the magazine. Where are you?" said Dr. Collins.

"In the bathroom, hiding" mumbled Ray.

"No you aren't. Look around. You are surrounded by clothes. You are in your parent's closet."

"I'm in my parent's closet" said Ray.

"Why are you there?" asked Dr. Collins.

"To hide so I can read" he replied.

"Yes, but that's not all. What are you wearing?"

"My clothes" said Ray.

"No you're not. You're in your parent's closet, so you can hide when you put on your mother's clothes. You're wearing her bra and her panties, aren't you?"

小说相关章节：【AI翻译】Jennifer White的性转小说